I want fitness to be welcoming and inclusive to all bodies, but I’ve noticed that often the way we validate people’s physical achievements is to reference what our culture typically considers to be “improved” appearance, namely weight loss.  

There are so many ways to compliment people, and a very thoughtful person asked me the other day how to compliment people without making reference to their appearance, size, or shape.  I love finding ways to recognize people, so here are four of my favorite ways to do this in a body positive way. 

How to Compliment Someone Without Mentioning Appearance

#1 Physical Achievements

I send my clients “Report Cards” that show them every way they’ve made progress during their workout programs with me.  I celebrate how many sessions they showed up to, if they increased their bench press weight, if they held their plank for a longer amount of time, or if they were able to do more reps of an exercise.

#2 Recognize Progress

If you ask people what their goals are, you can look out for ways that they are getting closer to that goal!  For instance, if a person is trying to improve their grip strength, and they were able to hold onto more weight for longer, I’ll point that out.  Noticing when someone improves while they’re on the road to a bigger goal can apply to bodies of all shapes and sizes!

#3 Acknowledge Personality Traits

I love people, which means I also love observing people (hello people watching, favorite weekend activity!), and so I often notice traits that I admire when I spend time with my clients.  Telling them “I love how dedicated you are that you’ve done all your workouts this week!” or “You’re so thoughtful to always rerack your weights” can make clients feel really appreciated.

#4 Love Language

The 5 Love Languages are Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time.  I like to find out what love language my clients communicate with and then use that to compliment them.  If their language is Physical Touch, I might high-five them and say “those were the best squats I’ve ever seen!”

Instead of reinforcing the idea that someone’s appearance is the only valuable thing about them by saying “You’ve lost weight!” or “you’re so beautiful!”, we can be the change by appreciating people in body positive ways that have nothing to do with their appearance.  

These are just 4 ways to show appreciation for people you care about, and I’m always looking for new ways, so let me know in the comments if you compliment people with a different technique, or if this blog was helpful.

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