The number one request on my new client intake forms in the last year?  

“I want a relationship with fitness that isn’t based on weight loss” 

Many clients who come to me have a history with eating disorders.  They want to participate in exercise for other reasons, but because of the strong association of movement with losing weight, fitness can be a triggering activity.  

Here are some starting points to create a different relationship with fitness that aren’t based on weight loss.

#1 Patience: It doesn’t happen overnight

If you’ve associated exercise with weight loss your whole life, this mindset will take time to adjust.  You’re working to undo years of messaging that we move our bodies to make them smaller, and it may take just as much time to get out of that headspace.  Be kind and patient with yourself.

#2 Work with a HAES or Body Positive Personal Trainer

Look for a trainer that titles themselves as HAES (Health at Every Size), Body Positive, or Body Neutral.  These are fitness professionals who specialize in respecting and accepting people at all body sizes and will be mindful in their language regarding weight loss. Check out my blog 5 Tips to Find a Personal Trainer for help with this.

#3 Talk Therapy

Your personal trainer may be a good listener, but is usually not a licensed therapist.  Disordered Eating is a topic that deserves professional assistance in recovering from, and while your personal trainer can support you in that, talk therapy will be super important to your recovery. Check out the National Eating Disorders Awareness site to get more help.

#4 Set Fitness Goals that Aren’t Appearance Based

Weight Loss and Toning Up are not the only fitness goals in existence. I have a worksheet you can download to help with this.  Your fitness goal can literally be whatever you want it to be!  Set a goal for yourself that doesn’t depend on what you look like when you achieve it.  

#5 Positive Self Talk

The way we speak to ourselves has a big impact.  If you find yourself beating yourself up mentally or making mean comments to yourself in the mirror, take a pause, and reframe your statement to something kinder.  A great book for this is called Body Kindness, and is an easy read.

This is just a starting point, and there’s lots of different routes to get to where you want to be.  Congratulations on redefining your relationship with fitness and yourself, and welcome to a whole new world of movement!

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